The Mirage Effect

REALLY!?

2011-03-06T02:54:00.000-05:00

....and this is why no one likes you publishers. I sit in a lawn chair with a pair of cargo shorts and a loud Hawaiian shirt on waving a giant foam middle finder while sucking beer through a plastic hose attached to my beer hat, gleefully cheering on the day your stranglehold over book publication comes to an end.

Bring out the digital pitchforks and torches.

Ignite the Light

2010-11-21T13:06:00.000-05:00

We walk around as regular people. One person among billions. Never noticed by the strangers next to us. Drifting like a plastic bag in the wind.

We scream silently to be noticed by someone. Anyone. But we are perfectly ordinary. The world continues to pass us by.

Inside us all we have a light that can burst forth and shine so bright. With a light like that, others cannot help but take notice. All we have to do is have the courage to ignite that light.

Courage.

Faith of the Fallen

2010-10-21T04:18:00.000-04:00

I chased a girl for a year and she broke my heart.

   This is not a new story. Hearts have been broken since the beginning of time and they will continue to be broken long after you and I are dust. What makes this story unique is God's role.
   I rediscovered my faith when I returned to Florida. I sat down with a spiritual man I highly respect and got answers to some of the major questions I had. I began attending church again.
   I chased a girl for a year. During that year I prayed constantly. I didn't pray for the girl to like me in return, that would negate free will. I prayed for guidance. I begged God to show me the right path. I begged him to send me a sign. I was falling for this girl and I was falling hard. If it wasn't meant to be, I wanted to know so I could get out and spare myself as much pain as possible. If it was meant to be, I wanted to know so I could keep chasing her.
   He sent me signs I asked for. Every time I would despair, He would send me a sign that would hearten me and keep me going. He keep me going for a year. When the girl finally told me: "I've even thought of dating you again.", I rejoiced. I thanked God for answering my prayers.
   Two weeks later, she broke my heart. The words she said were wiped away and in their place was a firm declaration of "I don't feel anything for you." I am still recovering from the wounds inflicted.
   Why? Why would He do that to me? Why keep pushing me on only to tear me down in the end? What kind of creature does that? At any point He could have spared my feelings. He could have sent me a sign and had me turn away from the path I was on. Instead, He chose to keep egging me on.
   I believe that God exists. I believe he created this universe and everything in it. What I am having trouble understanding is why I should worship Him? Why would I worship a being that would be that cruel?

It doesn't make sense to me.

-Shaun

Ah Myspace

2010-10-20T00:57:00.000-04:00

Does anyone remember a little site called Myspace? You know, the first big social network? In it's prime, Myspace was plagued by spammers. It was usually a fake account that had some chick with big boobs as the default picture hawking some sleazy porn site.

I would have thought all the spammers would have tried to game Facebook now that it has far surpassed Myspace, but apparently not. Here is a little exchange I had with a Myspace spammer today.

First off, this is the picture I get from the account that tried to friend me. Needless to say, I ignore the request. Later on, I get this message:

Hey, how's it going? Thanks for accepting the add, I apologize if the request seemed out of the blue, but you seem like a cool guy, and I was just curious if you'd like to be friends? I just moved out here a year ago and really have not had a chance to check this place out. I am always looking to have a great time with some really cool friends. I'm the girl next door type Well, maybe we can hook up soon.

Oh yea, Do you happen to have a e-mail address? I was hoping to send you some more pictures of me that I took.

Hey, not bad! This is much better than your average Nigerian spam. The grammar is good and everything is spelled right. Some one put some thought into this.

Here was my response:

A couple of things:

Your message was good. Very good. It was the most convincing piece of spam I've gotten so far. However, it has a few problems.

1) No one on social networks who look like the girl in the picture just randomly friends people.

2) The whole "I just moved here" bit has been done to death. Come up with a new line.

3) No one, and I mean absolutely no one, offers "more pictures of me" in the first e-mail. That line is not even subtle. It's blatant and, frankly, slightly insulting. Does anyone actually fall for that?

So in closing: drop dead spammer. You do know no ones uses Myspace anymore, right? Facebook is where it's at now.

Sincerely,

Shaun

I friended the account after I got the gem from above. I eagerly await the reply.

-Shaun

eBook Pricing

2010-08-31T01:34:00.000-04:00

When an old brick and mortar industry is suddenly faced with it's customers wanting goods digitally, why does every industry throw up it's hands and run in circles yelling "The sky is falling!" at the top of it's lungs? We saw it happen with the music industry. We are watching it now with the movie and television industry. Even the video game industry is dealing with online distribution woes.

Customers are going to get the content they want on the device they want to view it on. They did it with mp3s, they are doing it now with movies and tv shows, and they are going to do it with ebooks very soon. You cannot stop the signal.

I recently got my hands on an iPad. I had been eyeing ereaders for some time now, and Apple's newest device was at the top of my list of potential ereaders. I'll spare you my review of the device, just know that it is a very good ereader. (The primary reason I would get one.)

Imagine my surprise when I browsed Apple's ebook store to find most books between 9.99 and 14.99. Really publishing industry? Really?? I looked up one of my favorite Neil Gaiman novels 'Stardust'. This is not a new novel and can be found in any well-stocked bookstore as a mass market paperback. It's price as an eBook? 9.99. It's price as a paperback on Amazon? 7.99 with free shipping. The price I paid at my local Borders. 7.99.

Whoops.

Selling an eBook for the same price you sell the paperback for is crazy. Selling an eBook for MORE than the paperback is white-jacket-with-no-sleeves insanity. Why would a business even consider doing that? Do they think customers are half-wits?

Do I even need to go into the mydrid of reasons why eBooks are cheaper? The lack of paper, the lack of ink, lack of printing presses, lack of storage needed, lack of distribution. You can, literally, sit at home in a bathrobe and publish an eBook.

Yes, I know that big publishing companies have to hire editors, designers, and various office staff. I understand they all need to get paid. I even expect the publishing house to make a profit. They work and they deserve to grow their business.

However, I do not expect business to deliberately screw customers over to try and scare them back into an old business model. I will not tolerate it. And neither will other customers. Why was music piracy so high? Customers demanded their music in a new format and it wasn't being given to them in the way they wanted. When the industry relented, lo and behold, people started PAYING for music again.

Is that what you want publishers? Do you want customers go pirate your content because of your stupidly high prices? It's going to happen if you keep this trend up.

-Shaun, written solely on an iPad. (So forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes.)

The Tomb of Horrors

2010-08-22T16:55:00.001-04:00

   In 1975 Gary Gygax wrote one of the greatest Dungeons and Dragons adventures of all time, the 'Tomb of Horrors'. This module was filled with nasty traps and powerful monsters that the players had to fight on their way to the dungeon's final challenge: a demi-lich. I would guess that more characters have died trying to beat the Tomb of Horrors than any other module in D&D history.

I have never played the Tomb of Horrors.

   To be fair, I only started playing a weekly D&D game less than a year ago.  I've also never run a Shadowrun campaign, a Call of Cthulhu game, or even a Vampire: The Masquerade session. In gaming years, I am still an infant.

   That will change this week! Jason, our sadistic DM, is running our group through the Tomb of Horrors. We shall have to overcome all of the sadistic traps! Defeat the legions of deadly monsters! Save the prin-.....no, that's not in this module. She is in another castle. I cannot wait for Thursday.

   Jason has determined we are all to play evil monsters from the Monster's Manual. Except Jim. Jim has to play a Lawful Good character from the Player's Handbook. This is because Jim's characters in every other campaign are evil, despite whatever alignment might be printed on his character sheet. (Killing and stealing from two random NPCs in an inn? Check. Threatening to burn down an outpost because they wouldn't give him the information he wanted? Check.) This is also because Jason likes messing with his brother. They have that sort of relationship.

   I did my research for Thursdays game. I checked out the monster options. I balanced character stats and thought about what class I would like to try. My choice? An Orc Psion with an intelligence score of 8, a charisma of 19, and a strength of 16. His name is Thunk (Half-brother to Grunk, chief security officer of the Seven-Pillared Hall) and he is very stupid, but very charming. His alignment? Chaotic Stupid.

   I have decided to play The Loonie at the table and see how Jason and my fellow players react. I plan of going Off the Rails as much as possible, setting off every trap I can find, and exploding any magic items I get my hands on. If I play my cards right, I might even be able to get a Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies out of Jason.

The poor suckers, they have no idea what is coming.

.....unless they read this blog.

-"Captain Insane-o" Shaun

There's a Zombie On Your Lawn

2010-08-17T15:43:00.000-04:00

Editor Needed....

2010-08-05T15:57:00.000-04:00

Wowza. That is what I get for posting at eight in the morning while running on no sleep. I'll get that last post edited in a jiffy.

Sorry about that folks!

-Shaun

Starcraft 2

2010-08-05T08:00:00.001-04:00

In 1998 Blizzard Entertainment released the first 'Starcraft' game. Over the next few years, it would become one of the most important video games to the gaming community and, more importantly, one of the defining video games in a young teenager's life.

Much of this teenager's free time revolved around the new sci-fi-strategy game. The 'Starcraft' CD did not leave his CD-ROM drive for close to three years. (And only then because the CD-ROM had gone bad, and needed replacing.) His two closest friends he met because 'Starcraft'. While the game did not shape his teenage years, it was certainly a large gear that helped turn things.

When the sequel was announced, the teenager, now grown up into a man, was understandably excited. But that excitement was mixed with a twinge of fear. How can you make the sequel to one of the most successful games of all time? Blizzard Entertainment is good, but can even they top 'Starcraft'? We all remember how 'The Matrix' sequels worked out.

The biggest fear was that 'Starcraft 2' would lose some of that X-Factor, that special spark, that set it apart from other strategy games. Even when it was released, the graphics were not top of the line. The story was great, and the multiplayer was phenomenal, but it always felt like there was a little something extra that gave it the push from the "great game" category into that "something special" category. How can you hope to recreate that intangible?

This teenager-turned-man is happy to report: Blizzard pulled it off. They gave us a new game, with new graphics and new units but that still has that same X-Factor that made the original so amazing. It's a worthy successor to the original.

If you read the "official" reviews you'll see numerical scores dished out. They are all high, 8.5, 9.0, 9.5. They all say how good the games is, BUT the graphics are good, but not top-of-the-line, and how the story is good, but there is this flaw and that flaw, blah, blah, blah blah.

All of the reviews are missing the point. Sure, there are flaws. The game is not perfect. But to quote a great TV series: "All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again." The magazine reviews from 1998 said that SAME THING about the original 'Starcraft' and it has happily withstood the test of time. Even today, I can walk in Walk-Mart store and pickup the original 'Starcraft'. A 12 year old game. I suspect 12 years from now, I will still be able to walk into a retail store and buy 'Starcraft 2

All because of that X-Factor.

-Shaun

Requiem for the Heart

2010-08-05T07:25:00.000-04:00

It's been nearly a year since I met her. A year spent trying to get her attention. I knew I wanted to get to know her better from the moment I saw her sitting on the couch, watching Blizz-Con. I've only been partially successful. She still had many of the same features I remembered from our past: her wry sense of humor, her love of the outdoors, her amazing generosity and kindness of spirit. These were mixed with new things as well: a deeper, stronger self-confidence. She may not know exactly where she stands in this life, but she possess the courage to walk her path with her head high. The more time I spent with her, the more interested I became.

I have several women who are drawn to me. These are women who I can call anytime for advice, to vent my frustrations to, or even for a night of passion. I don't say this to brag, just to state facts. I adore these woman and I treasure the gifts they give me, but in each case, our relationship is gentle spark: comfortable and warm, but temporary. They each have a husband to return to, or a life to continue leading (Let me put a stop to any thoughts of marriage infidelity. All activities were done with the full consent, and blessing, of the husband.) and deep-down I know they are not "The One" for me. This woman, the one sitting on the couch watching Blizz-Con was the first woman I have been seriously interested in for a very long time. As I got to spend more time with her, my feelings deepened. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was falling in love with her, but I was well on my way there.

But no matter much I wished for it to be so: She does not feel the same way about me. I am just a friend to her. Not even a close friend, either. A second-tier friend who flitters across her thoughts occasionally, but is otherwise forgotten. She has her best friend and she has her confidant. There is no room in her life for me to get any closer. She is not drawn to me like I am to her. Maybe it is because I am fat. Maybe it is because she does not like my personality, or doesn't like that I am a student. I do not know. All I know is that I am kept at arms length. Literally, every time I think we are drawing closer emotionally she takes a deliberate step back and prevents us for connecting any deeper.

So I convince myself that it wouldn't work out. I find a small flaw that I would gladly have overlooked and, in my mind, build it up to be a giant, uncrossable chasm. My feelings are buried then, and we can be friends. I turn into the loud-mouthed, lovably-arrogant asshat you have all come to know. Things are good for awhile. But she is who she is, and as time passes I fall for her all over again. This cycle has repeated itself no less that twice over the past year.

This has me wondering: is there is anyone out there for me? Am doomed to lead a bachelor's life? I see people all around me getting married and starting families. Most are much younger than I am. Am I destined to be alone? I've always felt I was a bit different than everyone else. Not full-blown weird, just....off.

The women I mentioned earlier assure me I am "a great catch", and "this girl doesn't know what she is missing". I know they mean well when they say these things, but I cannot help but wonder......they don't have to come home to me every night. Would they still say the same thing if they did?

I appreciate you putting up with these moody ramblings. Those of you that have read this blog since the start know I don't normally post self-serving drivel like this. For whatever reason, I felt the need to put my thoughts to paper (Such as it is.) on this issue. Thank you for reading.

-Shaun

Stardust

2010-08-01T19:47:00.000-04:00

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, seen centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... Made me want to turn away and never look down again. But to see the way that mankind loves... I mean, you could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So, yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan, is... I think I love you. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange — no gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me, too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

-Yvaine from the movie 'Stardust'

Dungeons and Dragons Story from 7/29/2010

2010-07-30T15:21:00.000-04:00

Here is a story based off an adventure our D&D party had last night.

Enjoy!

---

*Ker-POW!*

The wooden door stood no chance against the dual kicks leveled it's way. The old wood shattered in a terrific explosion of splintering wood and iron rivets that sprayed the guts of the former door all over the room. The inhabitants of the room, a large group of orcs, stared in surprise at the Ivan and Torinn's grand entrance.

"Oh goody, orcs!" the dwarf said. He raised his battle axe high and charged into the room with a whoop. Three orcs immediately drew their weapons and swarmed at him, hacking and slashing as he danced and dodged their blows.

Arden stepped forward to stand next to Torinn, his red sorcerer robes making a gentle swishing sound. He cracked his fingers one by one. "Time to unleash the energies of the arcane." he said with a grin. His eyes glowed a deep blue as he started chanting.

At the apex of the chant Arden thrust his hands forward and a brilliant blue bolt of pure force shot out and struck the nearest orc harassing Ivan, burning a hole clean through the brute's chest. It stared stupidly at the wound for a moment before sinking to its knees and falling over. The bolt then jumped to a second orc, blackening the skin in its arm and causing it to drop its weapon and roar in pain.

Torinn adjusted his grip on his warhammer and prepared to spring forward. His taunt leg muscles bunched and strained.....

*BOOM* *BOOM*

Fire suddenly exploded in front of the doorway, sending a wave of rolling, white-hot flames towards them. Torinn threw his shield out in front of him and instinctively tried to cover the rest of the group. He could take the heat of the flames. They could not. He closed his eyes against the bright light.

The flames were intense, but brief. As they died, Torinn opened his scaly eyes. His shield had taken the majority of the heat, and now glowed a faint orange color. Arden and Magnum looked a little singed, but no worse the wear. Three more orcs were upon them now, giving off a fearsome appearance wreathed in the lingering flame.

The middle creature opened his mouth and grinned a nasty grin, showing off his yellow, broken teeth and letting a trail of drool drop down. "So you like to play with fire do you?" Torinn growled at him. He could feel his breath weapon bubbling and churning inside of him, and he brought it forth with all the fury he could muster.
Torinn opened his mouth wide and let for a blast of searing golden flames every bit as hot as the fire that had just hit them. It rolled forth and engulfed the three orcs, consuming them in an vengeful inferno.

To Torinn, it seemed like he keep the hot fire coming for an eternity before they shrank and finally stopped coming. The three orcs were completely gone, burned to small piles of ash now decorating the stone floor. Behind them, a small gnomish looking creature and....Mouse....were dancing around while beating their clothes trying to put out small flames. Torinn hadn't known there was anyone behind the orcs. How the hell did Mouse get back there?

"Are you TRYING to barbeque me Lizard!?" She shouted, dancing around.

Bahamut's breath, thought Torinn. He hadn't even seen the Halfling move, much less get behind the orcs. "Can you handle our gnomish friend there?" he rumbled. She responded with a string of creative profanities which Torinn took for a "yes". He charged past the gnome and into the larger room to backup Ivan.

Arden leaned over to Magnum Bane. "Remind me not to piss him off until AFTER he's used his breath weapon. " Magnum Bane just grunted and let loose a bolt of dark energy at the gnome battling Mouse.

Once out of the entrance and into the room itself, Torinn was better able to take stock of the battle. Ivan had dispatched an orc and was battling two more. Two other orcs hung around a giant, lichen-covered rock the back of the shrine. (Torinn saw the alter now, a giant cast-iron anvil, most likely to Moradin.) They were fumbling with large bottles filled with a shiny, orange liquid. Those must be the fire-wielders, Torinn thought. He turned and was about to charge them, when the giant rock suddenly stood up.

Torinn looked up.....and up....and up into the bloody face of a very angry troll. The troll was massive, easily over double Torinn's height. The front of him, from the bottom of his tunic to his face was covered in blood and gore. Torinn saw a pile of bodies behind him. He had been....eating them. Torinn recognized the bright blue cloak on one of the bodies. Bahamut's breath..... the troll had been eating the Farstriders.

The troll brought his club down with a uge crash that shook the entire chamber. Torinn hopped backward out of range of the massive weapon. That club would be considered a tree in any other circumstance. "They've got a cave troll!" Torinn shouted behind him.

"No kidding? What was your first clue?" Arden called in reply. He sent a bolt of blue energy over Torinn's right shoulder and into one of the fire-throwers, staggering it.

Torinn sent his thoughts to the platinum disk with the image of a dragon he wore on a study silver chain around his neck. Through it, he called upon the holy power granted to him by Bahamut . The disk started to glow, dimly at first and then with greater and greater intensity. The glow soon spread to Torinn himself, who was shining like a fallen star. He raised his warhammer high. "I am a beacon of hope in this dark place!" he called in a voice enhanced with something not of this world. A wave of energy pulsed from the cleric then, washing over his allies and stitching their wounds while the orcs staggered, their weapons suddenly feeling like they weighed twice what they used to.

The troll was not impressed. "Puny cleric." it said in common and swatted the Dragonborn with its club. Torinn was knocked clear across the room and crashed hard into the wall.

Mouse was cleaning a dagger on the cloak of the dead gnome when Torinn flying past her into the wall. She finished the polishing before turning towards the large Dragonborn. "Problems Lizard?"

Torinn was shaking his head, trying to clear the golden stars that were dancing in his vision. He rose unsteadily to his feet. "Do you need healing Rat?" he asked. Mouse sniffed, as if offended. "Tiny here" she gestured to the dead gnome. "could barely hold a dagger, much less hit ME with one."

Torinn pointed at the troll. "Then would you be so kind as to help us down the cave troll instead of lounging about back here!?"

"All right, all right! I am going!" she said, crouching low and heading towards the others.

Torinn shook his head once more to finish clearing it and let a minor healing spell wash over him. He was glad he had his chainmail on. The magic in the armor had absorbed most of the troll's blow. He picked up his warhammer from where he dropped it and rejoined the battle.

Ivan had dispatched the two orcs and was now going toe-to-toe with the troll. He danced and weaved, striking small blows and forcing the giant beast to focus all of its attention on him. The troll glowed with a flickering, black, unearthly energy, no doubt Bane's work. One of the fire-throwers was down in the back, and as Torinn watched Arden sent another bolt of power into the other orc. The orc staggered backwards and dropped his vile of liquid which shattered and burst into white-hot flames that crawled along the floor.

Bane saw the flames coming and backed away, but the troll, who was focused on Ivan, missed them. They licked the giant beast's feet and ankles, taking hold of its skin like it was made of dry kindling. The troll roared in pain and danced around the room, trying to put the fire on its legs out.

Ivan pressed his advantage then, singing a dwarven hymn to Moradin and swinging his great axe in great overhand strikes. He dealt several nasty blows to the hurt creature, opening up large, gaping wounds on its legs and thighs that poured a greenish-black fluid.

But Ivan had gotten to close, and the angry troll reached one massive hand down and grabbed the dwarf. His fingers encircles the short paladin completely, and only Ivan's head and shoulders were visible.

Torinn rushed in and tried to bring his warhammer down on the troll's arm, but it was too quick for him. The same hand that held Ivan tight lashed out and struck Torinn as he charged, completely stopping his momentum and knocking him to the side. He went crashing into several pews, breaking some of knocking others free from the bolts that held them in place.

Ivan, seeing himself used as a weapon against the group, roared in pure dwarven rage and bit down hard on the troll's hand. It let go on him, dropping the dwarf unceremoniously on the stone floor and sending him sprawling.

As the beast clutched its wounded hand, a small figure behind it jumped as high as she could and buried a razor-sharp dagger deep in the troll's flesh. Before the troll could even register what had happened, she lunged and planted a second even higher on the beast. Bracing her weight on the second dagger, Mouse pulled the first dagger free and again lunged higher.

In less than a second, the Halfling was to the beasts neck and head. She took a wide stance, bracing each foot on a massive troll shoulder. Just as a huge hand came up to grab her, Mouse drove a dagger into its eye. With an audible pop, the squishy globe burst, letting out a small torrent of white and yellow goo.

The troll howled in anguish and pain, redirecting the hand that was going to pluck Mouse from its back to the new would on its face. But Mouse was not done. She struck a second time, cross striking her dual daggers on opposite sides of the troll's neck. Before the rest of the party could blink, she yanked the two razor-sharp blades across the soft flesh, cutting muscles, tendons, and arteries.

The troll held its position for a moment in time, before crashing to the floor, life leaving its remaining eye. Mouse gave a graceful dismount and back flipped in the air before landing on her feet next to the troll's head. She gave a graceful bow, and then turned to clean her dagger on the troll's tunic.

Arden leaned close to Bane again. "I take it back about Torinn: remind me not to piss HER off. Ever."

Hello World!

2010-07-30T01:26:00.000-04:00

I present to you: the relaunch of 'The Mirage Effect' blog!

My goal is to post here at least once a day. Sometimes it will be a review of a product I bought and like, other times you will get a news story I found interesting. Occasionally, I will post a musing or rambling about life. The tagline is: 'Technology, Life, Gaming' and that is what I hope to provide.

-Shaun