In 1975 Gary Gygax wrote one of the greatest Dungeons and Dragons adventures of all time, the 'Tomb of Horrors'. This module was filled with nasty traps and powerful monsters that the players had to fight on their way to the dungeon's final challenge: a demi-lich. I would guess that more characters have died trying to beat the Tomb of Horrors than any other module in D&D history.
I have never played the Tomb of Horrors.
To be fair, I only started playing a weekly D&D game less than a year ago. I've also never run a Shadowrun campaign, a Call of Cthulhu game, or even a Vampire: The Masquerade session. In gaming years, I am still an infant.
That will change this week! Jason, our sadistic DM, is running our group through the Tomb of Horrors. We shall have to overcome all of the sadistic traps! Defeat the legions of deadly monsters! Save the prin-.....no, that's not in this module. She is in another castle. I cannot wait for Thursday.
Jason has determined we are all to play evil monsters from the Monster's Manual. Except Jim. Jim has to play a Lawful Good character from the Player's Handbook. This is because Jim's characters in every other campaign are evil, despite whatever alignment might be printed on his character sheet. (Killing and stealing from two random NPCs in an inn? Check. Threatening to burn down an outpost because they wouldn't give him the information he wanted? Check.) This is also because Jason likes messing with his brother. They have that sort of relationship.
I did my research for Thursdays game. I checked out the monster options. I balanced character stats and thought about what class I would like to try. My choice? An Orc Psion with an intelligence score of 8, a charisma of 19, and a strength of 16. His name is Thunk (Half-brother to Grunk, chief security officer of the Seven-Pillared Hall) and he is very stupid, but very charming. His alignment? Chaotic Stupid.
I have decided to play The Loonie at the table and see how Jason and my fellow players react. I plan of going Off the Rails as much as possible, setting off every trap I can find, and exploding any magic items I get my hands on. If I play my cards right, I might even be able to get a Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies out of Jason.
The poor suckers, they have no idea what is coming.
.....unless they read this blog.
-"Captain Insane-o" Shaun